is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
