Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Two words: nipple clamps
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