she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
