is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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