Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
