i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
