Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
