It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
