AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
