so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize