i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
