is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
