I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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