I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
