yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
