My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
