we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
