question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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