this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Can Purell be used as lube?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
