I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
