every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize