can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Boobs speak an international language.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize