Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
