What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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