I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just googled if crying burns calories
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
