I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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