she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
