I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
