i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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