it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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