Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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