Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
