So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
