just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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