thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
