we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
