I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
