YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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