I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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