We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
