I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
