this just has baby written all over it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
