honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
