i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
