bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
