And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
