She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
