I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
