8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
