my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Randomize
