Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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