So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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