I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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