Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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