sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
